The Invisible Fight
by Skyler, @chronically.challenged
Spinning, swaying, blood draining from my head
This is the feeling that I absolutely fret and dread
This chronic pain has become too much that I can take
Why cannot my body give me a much needed break?
Heart pounding as hard as a punk band’s drum
My hands and feet turn cold, blue, and painfully numb
Dizzy, weak, and feel like I need to try to sleep
But, instead, I lay in my cocoon bed and silently weep
Sometimes I feel like I cause so much strife
As this illness takes over my entire adult life
What have I done to deserve this never ending pain?
I think I have no reason to try and nothing left to gain
Slurring speech and a deeply frozen mind
My independence is now gone, I’ve come to find
Why has my life been taken from me?
All I want is to be healthy, content, and free
Is that really too much that I’m asking for?
I’m sick of fainting on the cold, hard floor
Isolated and fearful is how I often feel
Why cannot my broken body just try and begin to heal?
Being a burden has pierced the membrane of my mind
Is there anything left of the old me that I can still find?
I feel as if my brain with rupture or perhaps explode
“I’m sorry, but I cannot help you” I have too often been told
Sometimes I feel like I have to hide and lie
As I slowly feel like I am dying on the inside
My body is in agony and no one can tell me why
As I realize this is my new life, I begin to breakdown and cry
I am in the process of losing my once good health
It feels as if my body is literally attacking itself
Why cannot I be normal and go out with my friends?
My social life has come to an abrupt and sudden end
Remember, what you see isn’t always what it seems
This illness has completely crushed and ripped up my dreams
Black spots fill my vision as I try to get up and stand
I really need someone to lend me their outstretched hand
I have dealt with this syndrome for far, far too long
However, I don’t feel that courageous or even close to strong
I cannot read and I often cannot even try and think
It’s as if my health was gone in a single, quick blink
My symptoms have often given me quite a big scare
I feel as if all of this is unreal and totally unfair
Sometimes I feel that I’m only going downhill from here
I try and smile and not show any distress or fear
I wish I could live and have my life as it were
Dysautonomia needs awareness and a much needed cure
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